By Chase Kahn
I read this list last week when Entertainment Weekly hit my mailbox, but I forgot about posting it until now. Without a doubt, one of the most dumbed-down, childish and ridiculously scatter-shoot Top Ten Lists of the year always seems to come from Mr. Stephen King. This, my friends, is his masterpiece. Enjoy:
(I don't need to say anything here, do I?)
9. "Fantastic Mr. Fox"
8. "The Taking of Pelham 123"
(You mean Tony Scott's hyper, puppy dog-panting edit-fest? And he has the gall to praise John Travolta's over-cussing performance and then put down "Public Enemies?")
7. "Law Abiding Citizen"
(I kid you not, he says the words: "the script is wound tight." Were you even paying attention!?!? Or were you too busy trying to open your Strawberry Twizzlers, Stephen?)
6. "District 9"
5. "The Reader"
(This film came out in 2008, and it still sucks.)
3. "The Road"
(It's okay, not bad.)
2. "The Last House on the Left"
(What!? He compares this turd as being "on par with The Silence of the Lambs?" This morally-confused, head-in-a-microwave torture-fest? Are you kidding me? Hey, Stephen, three words for you: "The Virgin Spring.")
1. "The Hurt Locker"
In conclusion: No wonder this guy hated "The Shining." Stephen, hang it up, pal.