Wrapping Up 2010

I don't want to speak for everyone, but with the inevitability of last night's Oscar winners, an uneven, slapdash production and two hosts so unrelentingly misguided in their efforts, the show quickly took on the task of becoming insufferable.
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In a telecast primed to reap in the eagerly attainable "younger demographic" (what with the choice of hosts and all) the first presenter to take the stage was 94 year-old Kirk Douglas. Look, I love the guy - God bless him - but who thought this was a great idea?   
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And then the rest of the night took on the theme of "honoring" Oscar history with black-and-white clips, a shape-shifting stage, presenters in white tuxedos. Billy Crystal even came out to honor Bob Hope in a presentation that only further emphasized what an actual Oscar host should be. 
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James Franco and Anne Hathaway actually surpassed my expectations - they were far worse than I thought they'd be. From the opening parody video (thanks for the idea, Billy!) things went downhill in a hurry. 
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Franco stood stone-faced and disinterested while Hathaway hollered and over-clapped at everyone she introduced and neither of them had anything funny to say. The former came out in drag and the latter belted out a song about the overly-featured Hugh Jackman spurning her for a duet and both gags did nothing but attract a swarm of crickets. 
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And just when I couldn't imagine things getting worse, out trots a Brooklyn kids choir to sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" with all of the Oscar winners marching out for the crescendo, Hathaway high-fiving them as the telecast mercifully came to an end. 
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In a night so sheepishly reassuring and timid, it's fitting that "The King's Speech," the warm snuggie of the ten Best Picture nominees, walked away the big winner. So you didn't like Ricky Gervais? You got your jerk-off session, Hollywood.